The boys have recently fallen back into that arguing/fighting every five seconds mode, and it’s been driving me crazy. However, this past week, they took it to another level. This is a transcription of the moment I knew we’d gone off the deep end…

Sean: Dad, is “meaner” a word?

Dad: Meaner? You mean like Tommy is meaner than Johnny? As in, he’s nastier?

Sean: Yeah.

Tommy: (From upstairs) HEY!

Within a second or two, Tommy was at the base of the stairs, angry expression on his face.

Sean: Tommy’s right, Dad. He’s not meaner than Johnny.

Dad: I didn’t say that he was. I was just using the word in a sentence to understand your question.

Sean: I know, but Johnny is way meaner than Tommy.

Johnny: (from his room around the corner) HEY!

Johnny came charging into the room to confront his accuser face to face.

Johnny: Did you say I was meaner than Tommy you little twerp?

Sean: You are. Waaaaaay meaner.

Johnny: Why you little…

Johnny raised his fist in the air, before realizing that I was sitting right there watching.

Johnny: Permission to punch Sean in the face.

Dad: Permission denied.

Johnny: But he said I was meaner than Tommy!

Dad: So you want to punch him to prove that you’re not meaner?

Johnny: Yes.

Honestly, sometimes I feel like I’m living in a Three Stooges movie.