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NWI Parent
NWI Parent

Warning!

July 29th, 2012 - By Rick Kaempfer

I feel like I should put that sign in our car window.

Oh, most people in a similar circumstance put a “Attention: Student Driver” sign in their car windows, but my son Tommy isn’t most people. And he’s starting Driver’s Ed on Tuesday.

Tommy will be driving.

I’ve never written that sentence before, at least not without two extra words at the end (”me crazy”), but it’s absolutely true. My absent minded professor-ish son is going to be given permission by the state to get behind the wheel of an automobile, turn the ignition key, and drive. Not only is he being given permission, our school district has a rule that he has to pass driver’s ed, or he cannot graduate.

Tommy will be driving.

My son, who has to be reminded to put on his pants before he leaves the house, is going to be driving an automobile. My son, who I didn’t even allow to mow the lawn until last year because I feared he would mow his feet off, will be inside a motor vehicle, and steering it on America’s roads and bridges.

And not only do I have to allow it, I have to be inside the car with him…for 50 hours! Including ten hours at night.

Have I mentioned that I’m a terrible driver myself? People that don’t know me well think Bridget is being incredibly condescending to me when she screams things like “STOP SIGN” while I’m driving, but I don’t get offended because she has learned the hard way that it’s often necessary.

I know America has lived through things like this before (most recently in 1981 when I was somehow given permission to operate a motor vehicle), but can this country really live through both Tommy and I on the roads? With Tommy driving and me supervising him?

Talk about La Dee Dah leading La Dee Dee.

Please pray for us.

Or at least don’t honk if you see someone driving way too slow in the right lane. We’re not just doing it to stay alive. We’re doing it for America.

Filed under: parent.

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