Don’t run away, this isn’t a political column. But it is about something Mitt Romney said in his speech the other night.
I’m specifically referring to the story he told about his father. According to Mitt, his mom and dad were married for more than sixty years, and every single day of their marriage, Mitt’s dad gave Mitt’s mom a rose. Every single day. For more than sixty years. When I heard that, my initial reaction was: Thank God Bridget isn’t in the room right now.
How many husbands weren’t as lucky? How many wives sighed when they heard that story before turning toward their husbands and giving them that look? You know the look I’m talking about. The “why don’t you do anything like that for me?” look. (The camera didn’t cut away to her, but I bet even Ann Romney had that look on her face)
The husbands of America had to think fast. I’m guessing they said one of following things to the wife giving them that look.
1. “What? He was rich!”
(For the record: $2 a rose, 365 days a year, for sixty years, comes out to $43,800)
2. “What? You know his secretary took care of that for him.”
(Or, “I would never ask my assistant to take care of something that personal. It’s demeaning to women.”)
3. “Oh come on. He made that up.”
(Or “He’s a politician. You know they have only a passing relationship with the truth.”)
4. “That’s insulting. I’m not one of those husbands who thinks he can buy his wife’s love. I respect you too much for that.”
(Good luck with that one)
5. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening to the speech. I was lost in your beautiful eyes.”
(You’ve got to save that one for big moments like this.)
Regardless of how each husband responded, I know I speak for the husbands of America when I say that we don’t appreciate being put in that position. Not from one of our own. What about the husband code? As a fellow husband, you should know better, Governor.
Mr. President, the same goes for you. You still have time to take any and all “awesome husband” stories out of your speech. Because if you don’t, you won’t be able to secure the husband vote even if you give each and every one of us a rose every day.
We are husbands, hear us roar.
We are proud. We are invincible. We are…lucky to still be married.
Don’t blow this for us.