I have this baby boy who absolutely adores his Mom.

Anna was so independent as a child but she definitely preferred to be in her Mama’s arms, but Noah arrived before she turned one so her attention was quickly shared. She usually threw fits when I was leaving to go somewhere, even if I was just going outside to mow the lawn. (which I often did to “get away” back then.) To this day, Anna still prefers her Mom and is sometimes a little too clingy for my liking but really I do like it because someday, she’ll pretend I don’t exist.

Noah always shared this attention. He loved being with his Mom or his Dad and he’s still very much the same way. It’s peaceful and I love that he’s just as comforted with his Dad than with his Mom.

Eli, well, he loves his Mom. He cries for me when I’m not around. He cries when I walk out of a room, he watches me when he’s supposed to be playing with his toys. He watches me, well, always. Eli always knows when I’m not around and I always know when he needs me because he cries out for me.

(don’t get me wrong, Eli loves everyone but he really seems to be comforted by just my presence but his preference is, of course, in my arms.)

It’s interesting how when we dreamed of having a baby, throughout all of the heartbreak and prayers of our past, I only envisioned my love for my baby, how badly he or she was wanted, how much we would love him or her, hug, teach, play…

but I guess I forgot to picture the other side of it. I never really thought about how much this little baby would love us back, I never thought about us having a mutual loving relationship, both us us needing each other.

Some days are so hard when all he wants is his Mom, especially lately, as he’s been sick. But to know that behind the tears and the neediness is simply his love, well, I’m not going to lie. It’s special.

And I like it. A lot.