As a child, we always had to do chores and I don’t mean that we were always doing chores, I just mean chores have always been part of our lives, which is important. (I try telling that to my kids and they just don’t buy it. Doggone them.)
We had four girls and two boys. The two boys were always treated a little uh…different than us girls. While we had to slave away in the kitchen, sweeping and making dinner, they were able to play video games and basically do nothing.
Except this isn’t necessarily true but as a child I’m pretty sure this is how I viewed it. I can remember when it snowed they were the one who were given the task to shovel the driveway. In my mind, that just meant they were able to go outside and play with shovels. They would go out there and shovel and built ten foot forts afterward as I sat in the kitchen and swept while wondering why my life was so unfair.
Us girls, we were always on kitchen duty and sometimes rather than tackling the job, we’d complain and moan and on more than one occasion we’d hide dishes in the oven. And on more than one occasion we got caught. But I’m pretty sure we saw that trick on The Cosby Show and it worked for Vanessa and Rudy and why won’t that work for us?
Anyway. When my brothers went outside, they would turn into human snow plows, I’m guessing they would create a plan of action, one that would be most efficient and would require the least amount of energy but still doing the absolute best job possible. Which meant before we knew it and while we were still shoving dishes into the oven, they were back inside playing on their Commodore 64.
My point is? My parents never had a reason to buy a snowblower. (or a dishwasher, ahem.) So, after my brothers went away to college and it snowed, I was all “I’ll shovel, it’s fun!” So, I bundled up and went outside and spent the next two hours shoveling and sweating and I think I died. It was not fun at all and I just wished I could be inside sweeping the floors.
A few weeks ago, I finally talked Brian into buying a snowblower because I had total recall of just how backbreaking and dumb shoveling is. I had only been talking to him about this for about seven years so when he actually did it, it was a day of victory for me.
(and for him.) He uses it often and comes inside and talks about how awesome it is and looks at the clock and says “TEN MINUTES, I DID THAT IN TEN MINUTES.”
One day, he was at work and had to head to school directly after work and I had to make a very urgent trip to Taco Bell, so I emailed him asking him how to use this device. It’s important for you to know this that I have actually never seen one in action. I mean, perhaps from my window as I saw a neighbor but all I saw was flying snow and minutes later their driveway would be clean.
My point is this.
I went outside, started that bad boy up and went about my business. It was like cutting through butter, I felt like a genius.
Until I turned back towards the house and all of the snow that had been flying so beautifully in the correct direction began flying towards my face, completely covering me in snow. I could not, for the life of me, figure out how to make the snow switch directions, was it automatic? I just wanted to get back to the garage to figure it out.
By the time I got there, my face, pants, boots and coat were covered in snow, in fact, I considered plowing myself. I managed to get snow in the garage and all over the car. It was then that I made a very important decision.
Clearing the driving is for boys. Hiding dishes in the oven is for girls.