Yikes. I’m pretty much embarrassed by how long it’s been since I’ve visited this spot on the internet. It really is one of my favorite places to go. But each week, it flies by and before I know it, I turn around and see this blog getting dusty. It makes me sad. Places to write should never become dusty, there’s always something to say, someone who listens.

Yesterday, we let the kids take the bus to school for the first time. They take it home from school but I always take them to school, one, because I like them to not have to rush around in the morning but two because selfishly, it’s one of those quiet moments, without TV, phones, internet, music, etc., where we sit and talk for the five miles it takes to get to school. We talk about whatever is on our minds and then when they exit the car, we say our I Love Yous and I always, always drive away with a happy heart.

Well, I had an appointment with my cardiologist in Chicago yesterday morning, so Brian thought maybe taking the bus was a good idea. I asked them if they were interested, I was sure they’d so “no.” Instead, they cheered and laughed and probably danced for a little too long.

When they came home from school, I asked how their trip into school was, you know, WITHOUT THEIR MOMMY, I was certain they’d say “we missed you, we want you to take us tomorrow.” Wrong again. They loved it. They asked, NO, they begged to take the bus again today.

I agreed, ever so reluctantly. So, this morning, I waited in the garage with them, Eli in my arms. The bus showed up down the street and they ran away, hoods on to protect themselves in the rain, climbed the bus and never turned back.

I took Eli inside, sat down on the couch with him and looked at the clock, 7:30. I couldn’t help but think about how when I take them to school, they don’t leave me until 8:00. I sat there and really, truly, missed seeing them for those extra thirty minutes. I wanted them back. I still do.

I’m not ready for the growing up and I realize I never will be.