Within a few weeks, both of my kids will be off to school.
One in first grade.
One in full day kindergarten.
And for the first time in many, many, many years, I’ll be alone.
I’m so nervous about this next chapter in our lives, not because I think my kids won’t benefit from and even prefer this new set up, because I know they will. I’m nervous for selfish reasons.
I don’t want to be alone.
I run into so many people who ask questions about the kids and their ages, who have no idea about my history and they seem so excited that my kids will no longer be at home with me throughout the day. “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ALL OF YOUR TIME?!” they ask. I would probably feel different, no, I know I would feel differently if I had James and Jake strolling around the house for me to keep me busy.
But I don’t.
I promise to you, I am okay. The quiet is going to be really difficult to get used to but I have so many projects that I am working on that I am really excited about. There is so much to keep me busy and I even plan to exercise. And I can finally, finally focus on being a business owner which is what this family needs for me to do financially.
So, I guess part of me is excited, maybe the logical part. But my heart, my heart aches knowing that all of my babies will be in the care of someone else, which is just hard because I sort of feel like I am about to lose my job.
A job I really, really love.
July 31st, 2009 at 11:00 am
It really is a giant step when the kids head off to school but guess what. You’ll be so busy you won’t believe it and and it’ll be so fun when the kids get off the buss every day (about 10 seconds after they left - which is how it will feel). You’re going to love this new phase of your life! And if you get lonely, you can always call your mom.
July 31st, 2009 at 11:30 am
You’ll be okay. It will take some getting use to, but you’ll be fine. And who knows what the future will bring. It could be quite an adventure!
July 31st, 2009 at 1:39 pm
I hear ya! My only child will be starting Kindergarten in now less than 2 weeks & I’m about to have a panic attack just thinking about it. I’m trying to think positive & have been working on my list of things to do with all of my time. Glad to hear I’m not the only one sort of dreading this next step.
July 31st, 2009 at 3:02 pm
I’m right there with you - my youngest will be starting K too. I’m actually looking forward to the quiet, but I am wondering if I will get lonely. I already have a volunteer job lined up at the school, plus my time in the K classroom. I probably still won’t get anything done at home! Here’s to smooth transitions for us.
July 31st, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Oh Beth. I can’t wait to see where your job takes you next. You are smart and lovely and talented and everyone loves you. For very very good reason.
August 1st, 2009 at 12:14 pm
It’s hard to send our babies off to someone else, but it will be good for you to have this time to focus on you and your business stuff. And before you know it the school day will be over and they’ll be home again to keep you company.
August 2nd, 2009 at 3:07 am
My oldest is starting school this year as well. Everyone else says that I should be looking forward to it but really, I’m dreading it.
August 3rd, 2009 at 8:22 am
It will be a blessing in disguise, I just know. Because I am looking forward to it.
Steph
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