What not to say to a pregnant woman:
-Wow…you like nice and pregnant.
-Are you sure you’re not having twins?
-You’ve got a long way to go and you are going to get so much bigger.
-You are going to have your HANDS FULL.
-You’re pregnant, again? Do you know how this works?
-Are you really, really sure you’re not going to have twins?
-You look like you could go any day now…really? Two months to go? OHMYGOD.
-Should you be eating that?
-Wow. Someone is hormonal.
-Are you really THAT tired?
-Are you going to get fixed after this one?
-I can’t believe you just ate all of that.
-Why are you so mad? All I said is that your ankles are huge.
Have any to add?
October 9th, 2009 at 9:37 am
wow, you’re the biggest lady I’ve ever seen! (personal favorite from this current pregnancy).
October 9th, 2009 at 9:40 am
“I feel sorry for your face.” Yep, when you gain 50 lbs, swelling happens. Everywhere. I could have reacted harshly, but it was a pastor’s wife who said it.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:40 am
When I was pregnant with Luke, some jerk asked if I was having triplets. Ha. Ha. Ha. And I don’t know if I can count 8th graders in the what not to say category, because they’re pretty sub-human, but my students with Luke used to ask what I’d do if the baby was born as a hermaphrodite.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:40 am
You’ve gotten fat all over…you must be having a girl, right? (I still remember that one two years later! GRR!)
October 9th, 2009 at 9:42 am
When *I* was pregnant, I NEVER got huge/ threw up/ felt exhausted/ had swelling/ ate all day/ drank coffee/ etc.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:43 am
“You blew the national average on kids didn’t you”.. this was when we went to the store while I was pregnant with our fourth - I believe I grumbled “suck it” under my breath.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:56 am
looks like the baby is going to come any day now! (said in an awfully cheery voice).
when i still have 3 1/2 months to go.
oh yeah … that was monday. maybe i’m still a little bitter.
October 9th, 2009 at 10:04 am
I can’t believe you have three months left, you are huge!
October 9th, 2009 at 10:05 am
I have way too many, but I seriously hate “going for that boy, huh?”
no, actually we just wanted this many children and were blessed enough to have four little girls.
October 9th, 2009 at 10:15 am
Kinda goes with Love’s but how about..
“Are you disapointed you are have a girl/boy??”
October 9th, 2009 at 10:19 am
Someone commented to my husband right in front of me…
“Hey buddy, your wife has gotten really fat!”
I’ve also had someone annouce at a family gathering when I was the first person in line for the buffet…
“Look everybody! The pregnant girl is the first in line!”
Another time someone was announcing how many cookies I was eating at a Christmas gathering. By the way, I may have been on my 2nd or 3rd!!!
“Everybody better hurry! Sarah may eat all of the cookies!”
So it’s not hormones that makes a pregnant woman irritable. It’s all the crazy comments and repeat conversations she has to have over and over again. Before talking to a pregnant woman, think! This is not your opportunity to be a comedian. Just be yourself!
October 9th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Just heard this one yesterday: “Wow, you look……..” She didn’t finish the sentence. Apparently there are no words for how I look.
October 9th, 2009 at 11:31 am
“Hey - when did you get a boob job?” And along those same lines…”Wow - you should have NO problems breastfeeding”
October 9th, 2009 at 11:40 am
“We need a wide-angle lens for the pregnant one!”
“I didn’t look good pregnant either.”
“I know you eat healthy, I was wondering why you were getting so chubby.”
October 9th, 2009 at 11:53 am
In one breath, “they always say girls steal your beauty” in the next breath, “do you know what you’re having? I say GIRL”
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, thanks…?
October 9th, 2009 at 11:53 am
I remember a co-worker that I was very excited to tell we were expecting & the first thing she asked was, “was it planned?” I can’t imagine asking someone that question!
October 9th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Ant scary labor stories - thi is especially true if the person you are talking to is pregnant for the first time - she is scared enough.
October 9th, 2009 at 11:58 am
“Remember, the weight goes on a lot easier than it comes off, you’re not really eating for two.” Perfect stranger felt the freedom to offer my 117lb. body that advice when I was very young and pregnant for the first time. The scars of that are still with me.
October 9th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Oh yes, we also got plenty of “you know there are ways to prevent that” when we were happily pregnant with numbers 3 and 4. Our kids are very widely spaced, 25, 27, 9 and 6, but still…RUDE.
October 9th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
I actually carried really small (plus I have wide hips and a large chest, so it was a bit of an optical illusion). Carrying small with your first can be almost as bad as looking farther along than you are.
After we brought my daughter home from the hospital my NEIGHBOR said “Oh, I didn’t even know you were pregnant until you came home with the baby.” Plus that just makes you feel like you are SO FAT normally that you just looked more fat instead of pregnant. Now I am not skinny but I am not ridiculously overweight either, so it was insulting to me think I didn’t even look pregnant at any point at all.
I had a parent at conferences (I am a teacher) ask me how old my baby was when I was still pregnant and due in two weeks. OUCH.
October 9th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
—You look like you are about to pop!
—You must be miserable.
I cannot believe people actually say this stuff!!
October 9th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
“so was this planned?” seriously what business is that of anyones? the world has become one big nosey place
October 9th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
the last month during both my pregnancies, my coworkers and patients i worked with said nearly every day “You’re STILL HERE? When are you going to have that baby?” it’s so frustrating when you’re counting the seconds till you can get this baby OUT!
October 9th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Oh, I got some doozies…..
“Was it planned?” (Yes, but what the hell business is it of yours???)
“So, your just gonna keep trying for that girl, huh?” (No, we truly wanted 3 kids)
“Your nose is HUGE” (Yes, my face swells…thank you for pointing it out to me)
“You are going to be busy!” (As opposed to my life with just 2 kids where I sit around eating bon-bons and watching tv all day??)
“Are you going to have a 4th and try for the girl?” (NEVER ASK A WOMAN WHO IS 9 MOS. PREGNANT OR WHO HAS JUST GIVEN BIRTH IF SHE IS GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY!!!)
and my all time favorite…..
“Better you than me” (Yes, I couldn’t agree more.)
October 9th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
I have none. It’s been too long but most of these are pretty amazing. I HOPE I’ve never said any of them.
October 9th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Don’t worry, you’ll lose all the weight during breastfeeding! (lies)
Wow, you must be due any day! (I was FIVE MONTHS along)
And best of all, 4 weeks postpartum, not carrying child around - ‘When are you due?’
October 9th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
I got almost all of the previously mentioned you’re huge comments from about 5 months on. Including a complete stranger saying, “Are you sure there’s not a whole litter in there?” Really? Am I having puppies? And why are you talking to me?
Also? “Oh, thank goodness you’re pregnant! We all just thought you were getting fat!” (Glad to know people are talking about me gaining weight anyhow.)
And my personal favorite, “You look miserable.” WTH? This was almost always on a day when I was in a really good mood and feeling great.
Also loved being out and about postpartum and a complete stranger asking if I was ready to pop. Yes, ready to pop you in the mouth. And like 4 months postpartum at a huge networking event in front of about 10 people, “Is that #2?!” - pointing at my stomach. Ouch. NOT ALL PEOPLE GO BACK TO LOOKING NORMAL RIGHT AWAY!
What is wrong with people?
October 9th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
1. Were you planning on getting pregnant (did you want a schedule of when we were “trying”???)
2. I can’t wait to see you all big and fat and pregnant.
October 9th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
I heard this when I was pregnant with my second son : “Another boy? Oh, I’m sorry.” Sorry for what???
October 9th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
“You don’t look big enough to be nine months pregnant.” (then you start worrying you’re going to have an underweight defective child!)
October 9th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
While pregnant with boy #3:
“Were you trying for a girl?” ~Nope, hubby is the oldest of 4 (3 boys then a girl), so I figured this baby would be a boy, too.
Are you disappointed it’s not a girl? ~Nope, I’ve loved this baby from the moment I knew about him, regardless of what gender (or any other characteristic) he is/has.
Are you going to try again for a girl? ~Why do you think I need 4 boys…LOL We haven’t decided whether we want to try for another BABY.
So did you get lucky and are having a girl this time? (Major foot in mouth moment for Babies R Us cashier)
I’ve had 3 pregnancies that resulted in 3 full-term, healthy boys who are the light of my life. I couldn’t feel more blessed!
Can you tell it’s a sensitive subject!?! My baby is not yet 4 weeks, so it’s a little fresh!
I also hated the “was this planned?” question…like someone could not possibly want 3 kids! Not only do I want 3, I might want 4 or even 5!!!
October 9th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
“Oh - you’re still here then?”
I used to get this EVERY time i met anyone. I have a habbit of being late (43 weeks with No.5) and it gets a little tedious when you have to keep say “yeeeeees!” - I mean - where else would I be?! It’s such a STUPID question/statement!!
October 9th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
“Wow, if you get any bigger you’re going to need your own zip code.”
Someone ACTUALLY said this to me!
October 9th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Before we found out the sex…”What do you want the baby to be?” As if I have a choice…how about a healthy baby?
October 9th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
“You need to go home and scrub your floors. That’ll make the baby come.”
“Why are you even bothering with decaf iced tea? What’s the point in that?”
These gems came from the same 60+ year old MAN!
October 10th, 2009 at 12:45 am
The worst was 3 months AFTER having my 3rd child and no longer pregnant, a young man commented “Are you expecting again??!”
October 10th, 2009 at 7:24 am
I work with children with moderate learning disabilities and emotional/behavioural disorders. When I was pregnant with my daughter I had to cover a year 10 (14/15 year old) lesson. The kids had just discovered I was pregnant and were asking questions like had I chosen a name yet? Had I bought any baby clothes. One boy piped up “Miss, do you know the father?” I nearly fell over!
And just so you know, I do :o)
October 10th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
You haven’t had the baby yet?
Why don’t you just go ahead and have that baby already?
It’s so funny to see you walk. You waddle.
October 10th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
I don’t have kids, yet, and would NEVER say anything like this to a woman who even looks remotely pregnant. But I would love to hear some of the snappy comebacks that are given to these rude folks who ask these terrible questions.
October 12th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Oh, yeah, heard a lot of these! People will be like, “Not much longer now!” and that was back when I still had three months to go!
October 14th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
My personal favorite from a co-worker who I’ve never actually met and don’t even know her name came last week:
“Don’t gain too much weight! Really, I gained 60. How much have you gained so far? Are you excersizing?”
Before I knew what happened I was lying to a stranger and said “I don’t know” and “depends how I feel” instead of “20″ and “never.”
October 16th, 2009 at 4:13 am
Not that I’d want it said to me, but in defense of the young man that commented “Are you expecting again?” 3 months after giving birth (from Robin). I have found that unless men have been close friends/relations with a pregnant woman, they don’t always know that woman don’t instantly loose all the weight gained during pregnancy…I mean, you’ve given birth, the weight was due to the baby, so why would you still look pregnant?
So not a safe comment, but possibly more innocent than some of the others!
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