I like to think of myself as a gal who has it all together. I can manage the ups and downs of parenting, as well as the logistics – schedules, chores and other responsibilities. But the truth is, I don’t have it all together. I’ve decided to be upfront with myself (and with you) and admit it. In fact, I’m going to be honest enough with myself (and you, again) and admit that chaos is a major factor of each and every day.
This is hard for me because I’m what you would probably refer to as a neurotic planner. I have my days and events planned down to the nitty gritty. I know who’s coming, who’s going, when, where and how. I’ve obsessed over the details and I’ve worked it all out, down to the fine print. Lately, however, I’ve been more of what you’d call a “pantser” – parenting by the seat of my pants.
By “pantsing” my way around every day, it’s not necessarily a given that the laundry will get done or that dinner will be on the table at exactly 5:30 – and dinner might just be a cold sandwich eaten on the way home from soccer practice. It’s no longer a given that I have a list for every day’s tasks so that I can approach things orderly and completely. Instead, I look for what has to be done yesterday and make sure it’s done by today.
This goes against the very grain of who I’ve always been, but life seems to have spun out of control lately – a teeny bit anyway. But you know what? The only person this really seems to bother is me. The kids know that I’ll come through in the clutch and that they’ll be taken care of. They might even be enjoying a little bit of the less-rigorous approach to life and *might* like the flexibility that “pantsing” is bringing to their daily lives.
Maybe if they’re enjoying a little of the laissez-faire approach to life, I can learn to enjoy it too.