I’m in a funk.
Between the permanently gray skies, the cold, damp air, and overall stress, lately I’ve just been . . . not myself. By the time I get home from work every night, I have no motivation to do anything other than eat, sleep and watch TV. I knew things were really bad when I played Wii MarioKart for over an hour. All by myself. On a Wednesday night. (*cringe*)
Growing up, my siblings and I were always expected to be busy—usually cleaning the house. We weren’t allowed to lie on the couch and watch TV unless the place was spotless. Laziness was simply not an option in our home. I hated it at the time and still feel a little like I missed out on a “normal” childhood. But mostly I’m grateful that my parents instilled such a strong work ethic in me.
Of course, that work ethic is not evident lately, as I lounge around in my Snuggie watching reality shows and eating cookies. While I tell myself this behavior is only temporary, I see how easily it can become a habit without realizing it. And I don’t like the way I feel. I’m eating poorly, so physically I feel heavy and sluggish. Plus, because of my upbringing, I have this looming sense of guilt whenever I sit around doing nothing. It makes me feel like less of a person. And of course, I don’t want Isabella to follow my example. Luckily, she has a lot of energy, so she’d rather be bouncing around the house than lying low. But still I don’t want her to think that her mother is a sloth.
In the end, I know this is just a funk, a phase, and that I’ll snap out of it when the weather gets better. But until then, if anyone has any suggestions on how to get my mojo back, I’ll gladly take them.