Last week I went to a business networking event. There were lots of people milling about, most were in little clusters talking and shaking hands while trying to balance their plate of cheese cubes, meatballs, celery and carrot sticks.

There were a few people, obviously newcomers because they were standing alone, looking for someone to talk to. When I looked at the clusters I noticed that most were made up of people who work together or people who already know each other and have a relationship. I'll bet, when they get in their car to drive home, they mumble something like, "another networking event, I didn't meet anyone new who could be a prospect, what a waste of time."

And yet they cluster; which is intimidating for new people to break into a conversation and even more difficult for the clusterers to meet them.

The business reason for attending networking events is to meet new people and identify those who can become new prospects. After appropriate follow-up actions, eventually some of those prospects will become new clients or referral agents or both. But few attendees get out of their cluster, their comfort zone and engage strangers in conversation. Why?

My guess is that there is a lack of social confidence, a fear of the unknown, and a fear of rejection caused by a lack of preparation. People feel awkward engaging a stranger in conversation. It doesn't come naturally to most, so people successful at networking, prepare and practice.

They prepare "conversation-starters" -- comments about current events, the weather, sports, the quality (or lack thereof) of the food, the traffic -- anything to make it easy to initiate conversation with someone they don't know.

To make themselves comfortable and sound natural they practice those opening gambits in the same way an actor rehearses lines in a play. They practice their networking skills every chance they get, waiting in line at the supermarket for example.

The more they do it the easier it is, the more natural they sound, the more confident they become and the more successful they are and … "Hi, have you tried the meatballs?

Opinions expressed solely are those of the writer. Larry Galler, of Larry Galler & Associates, is a marketing and management consultant for small and mid-size companies. For more information or to get his free report, "Tolerations driving you nuts? Eliminate them now!" contact larry@larrygaller.com or call (219) 464-9463.