You think there's competition in sports. And in academics. And in business. A place you may not expect it to rear its head is in parenting, but mommy competition is all over the place -- from the commercials urging you to buy the best baby products to securing a spot in preschool to the debates over breastfeeding, whether or not to work outside the home, to use cloth or disposable diapers, to allowing your child to watch television or eat Happy Meals.

There always seems to be a little whisper in your ear that someone else is parenting better.

It's not necessarily coming from the other moms. It's often our own self-doubt that keeps us feeling as if we're always in competition to do the best for our kids or that there's something we should be doing differently or that someone else's kids have the edge over ours.

And sometimes our own worst critics are other moms who think they know better.

It's always nice when you find other moms you can connect with, but you always have a few with adamant opinions on issues and who won't hesitate to make another mom feel bad about formula feeding or placing their child in day care.

On one hand, we need to realize that one mom's boasting is just a result of pride and not take it personally. On the other hand, there's no quicker way to make an enemy than to insult someone's child or question their parenting style.

Wouldn't it be so nice if we could all get along and not judge other moms? I've been guilty of it myself (mostly early in my parenting career), but I know that we'd all be better off if we could support one another instead of working against each other.

I guess my years of parenting experience have changed my views a bit. While at one time I would have seen a child throwing a tantrum in a store and thought that the mother was doing a poor job of controlling her child, I now feel sympathy. I've been there, done that. I know we all have bad days and our kids do, too. I realize that sometimes a child who appears to be misbehaving may have a medical disorder that causes the behavior and I consider that, rather than jumping to judge the parent.

I have learned that people parent differently and do what works best for them.

That may mean bottle feeding rather than breastfeeding, a family bed rather than a bassinet, private school instead of public school or an array of other choices. It's better to commend other moms for making choices that best suit their family than trying to convince them that they're wrong.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer. Carrie Steinweg, the mother of five, lives in Lansing. Her column alternates with that of Schererville mom Rebecca Bailey. She can be reached at csteinw@yahoo.com.