If you stuffed your foot in your mouth along with all that turkey this Thanksgiving, there's still time to change your ways before the next holiday meal with family and friends or social gathering with business associates.

Small talk is more than chitchat. It's a valuable method of conversation, says Debra Fine, communication guru and author of "The Fine Art of the Big Talk" and "The Fine Art of Small Talk," published by Hyperion.

But eliminating such conversational bombs as "Why aren't you married yet?" or "Why did you two leave your beautiful home for this dump?" can mean the difference between a peaceful get-together and a day of awkward moments, uncomfortable silences and eruptions of family feuds, Fine says.

"Because it's the post-election season, there are also land mines that involve asking others to defend their choice of a candidate," Fine says.

"Try enjoying your dinner when you're called on to defend your relationship, your career mishaps and even your political party's trials."

Additional topics to avoid, Fine says, include the following:

* "Are you married?" or "Do you have any kids?" Where are you going with either one of these if the response is "No"?

* "How's your job at Boeing, United Airlines, the steel mill (fill in the blank)?" Unless you know a person well, assume nothing! With the current economy, this could be a loaded question.

* "How's your wife/husband?" (She/he left, took all the money, the kids and got the house!)

* "Merry Christmas!" "What are your Christmas plans?" Not all of us celebrate Christmas.

* "Isn't it time for you to retire?" You're implying that the person looks too old to hold a job or is taking a job from someone younger. Nosy and really rude.

* And at all costs avoid "Is that real?" "Are those real?"

For Eloise Stillman of Valparaiso that dreaded question is "When are you going to move out on your own?"

"I graduated from college and got a job, but I can't afford to move out of my parents' home, not with the student loans," Stillman says. "I get this question from all kinds of people and it's embarrassing. I want to tell them that I'll move out when they pay off my loans. Maybe that will stop them from asking."

Jill Norman of Munster says the more alcohol that's served at such functions, the more inappropriate conversations seem to get.

"I've had clients tell me horror stories about these kinds of parties," Norman says. "Our family is so large, you're lucky if you get in half a conversation. I like to stay on the surface, not probe too deeply."

Fine recommends preparing for the small talk you'll encounter at holiday parties with three topics of conversation that have nothing to do with the womb, looming career plans or a marriage license.

The following are Fine's "Top 10 Icebreakers:"

* "What is your connection to the host/hostess or event?"

* "What do you enjoy the most about this time/season of the year?"

* "Describe how this season of the year impacts your work?"

* "Bring me up to date about your life/work/family since the last time we got together ..."

* "Tell me about your plans for the holidays ..."

* "Describe you favorite holiday tradition ..."

* "What challenges do you encounter at this time of year?"

* "Tell me about a special gift you have given or received?"

* "What is your favorite holiday? Why?"

* "What have you got going on during the coming year?"