Just 53 days to go before the dreaded April 15 income tax deadline.

Jill Voiles of Valparaiso, who works as a senior tax advisor for H&R Block in Hebron, always has some great tips for my parents and me, as well as some amusing stories.

In the 32 years she's been preparing taxes, she's seen and heard it all in the department of attempted deductions.

To set the record straight, Viagra and false teeth often are legitimate deductions, while speeding tickets and the amount paid for the previous year's taxes are NOT.

Pets are also NOT eligible as "dependents."

Two of Voiles' more interesting cases: a woman insisting her horse, a gelding, was a tax write-off because she used it for "stud service" (IRS allows breeding horses and racehorses as legitimate deductions but NOT show horses); and an erotic dancer listing her occupation as "demonstration" model.

And then, of course, there's the subject of famous folks falling prey to the IRS because of poor accounting or dishonest business managers.

Some of the most famous "victims" include country singer Dottie West, a favorite duet partner of Kenny Rogers, Willie Nelson, Wayne Newton, MC Hammer, late hotel maven Leona Helmsley (who supposedly said "only the little people pay taxes" and spent two years in prison with a $7 million fine in 1991), Spiro Agnew, our former vice president under Richard Nixon, comedian Lou Costello (who died bankrupt owing the IRS more than $1 million in back taxes) and, ironically, his movie partner Bud Abbott, whose mansion was seized after an IRS audit showing $750,000 due in back taxes and, finally, Al Capone, who got 11 years in prison and was fined $80,000 by the IRS.

For many celebrities, award shows also mean needing to bring a calculator as a mandatory accessory or just tucked away in that tiny designer handbag or in the inside pocket of a pricey-label tuxedo as the luminaries walk the red carpet.

Events like Sunday's 81st Annual Academy Awards means free stuff, and lots of it.

At many events, both presenters and nominees can receive large gift bags often worth up to $100,000.

But these freebies aren't necessarily free, according to Voiles.

In recent years, the IRS has cracked down on swag and started taxing recipients of the famed bag. The gifts, which have included items such as catered dinners, jewelry, lavish vacations and even Botox injections, are viewed by the IRS as taxable income. For pricier gift bags, given at big events like the Oscars, this "free" stuff can translate to a tax bill of nearly $35,000 for recipients.

"Companies vie for the maximum exposure that comes from having their products in swag bags," said Voiles' colleague Gil Charney, senior research analyst for The Tax Institute at H&R Block.

"But with the down economy, it remains to be seen if celebrities will be deterred from accepting these gifts to avoid paying the hefty tax bill."

He says one way recipients can avoid paying taxes on swag gift bags is to ask that it be donated to a recognized charitable organization before they receive it. Once celebrities receive the gifts, they're liable for any taxes owed but they can donate the bag and deduct the fair market value of the products.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer. He can be reached at ppotempa@nwitimes.com or 219.852.4327.

celebBirthdays

Railroad heiress-turned-fashion designer Gloria Vanderbilt (mother of Anderson Cooper) is 85. Actor Sidney Poitier is 82. Political family daughter Jean Kennedy Smith is 81. Racing star Bobby Unser is 75. Actress Marj Dusay ("Guiding Light" and Blair's mom on "The Facts of Life") is 73. Jazz and soul singer Nancy Wilson is 72. Singer-songwriter Buffy Sainte-Marie is 68. Hockey star Phil Esposito is 67. Actor Henry Polic II ("Webster") is 64. Actresses Sandy Duncan and Brenda Blethyn and guitarist J. Geils of The J. Geils Band are 63. Actor Peter Strauss is 62. Socialite Ivana Trump is 60. Singer-bassist Walter Becker of Steely Dan is 59. Country singer Kathie Baillie of Baillie and the Boys and actor John Voldstad (Darryl from "Newhart") are 58. Actor Anthony Stewart Head ("Buffy The Vampire Slayer") and kidnapped newspaper heiress Patricia Hearst

are 55. Actor James Wilby ("Gosford Park") is 51. Bassist Sebastian Steinberg (Soul Coughing) is 50. Actor Joel Hodgson ("Mystery Science Theater 3000") is 49. Singer Ian Brown of Stone Roses is 46. Actor French Stewart ("Third Rock from the Sun") is 45. Model Cindy Crawford is 43. Actor Andrew Shue ("Melrose Place") and actress Lili Taylor are 42. Singer Brian Littrell (Backstreet Boys) is 34. Actress Lauren Ambrose ("Six Feet Under") and actor Jay Hernandez ("Crazy/Beautiful") are 31. Actress Majandra Delfino ("Roswell") is 28. Singer Rihanna is 21.