Any lasting relationship requires knowledge of the other being and plenty of introspection. The same is true with making the right pet match. In her book, "Happy Hound," author Susan Daffron maps out the process of developing a great relationship with your adopted dog or puppy.

The Sandpoint, Idaho, resident has had years of experience as an animal shelter volunteer, veterinary assistant and pet care-column writer.

She said that one of the biggest causes of failure in pet-people relationships is unrealistic perceptions. One side of the misperception coin is believing a Husky-mix puppy will wait patiently for you to come home after a 10-hour-long daily absence. The other side is thinking of yourself as athletic even though you spend most of your free time on the couch.

"When I volunteered at the animal shelter I saw people who returned dogs for things that were not the dog's fault," Daffron said. "You listen to the explanations and excuses and so much of it boils down to lack of education about dog behavior and dog health."

Shelter workers should have the most accurate information about a dog's personality and breed, but it's often an intuitive connection that seals the relationship.

"I think that what attracts the human to the dog and vice versa is the dog's body language," she said. "Someone will come in (to a shelter) and say, 'I must have a sheltie mix,' see it and not make that connection."

Tips for making an ideal shelter dog match:

* Patience, patience, patience. "Imagine you've been taken out of a bad situation and put in a cage that you get used to and then are taken to a strange home," Daffron said. It will take time to get used to new surroundings, no matter what the breed mix or age.

* Be consistent, firm and fair. While it's easy to feel sorry for the dog, Daffron said sometimes, in an overzealous attempt to make it feel welcome, the dog becomes more domineering. "The most important thing the dog needs is structure and routine," Daffron said. Little things like teaching them to sit before giving them dinner or attaching their leash convey the idea that it's the human who is running the show.

* Don't saddle your dog with human tendencies or buy into the idea that your dog is a small human with fur. Daffron has heard people say things like, "He's trying to get back at me," or "She's doing that out of spite." Dogs just don't have it in them to plan such complicated agendas. When her dog went to the bathroom on the floor in front of her as she prepared dinner, Daffron knew it was a matter of missed signals on her part. She simply wasn't paying attention to the dog's body language that told her she needed to go out.

* Realize that life changes can be upsetting to a dog. Most dogs thrive on routine and learn to expect certain things. People don't seem to think the dog will notice changes caused by divorce, a new baby or roommate.

* Consider the personalities of existing household pets. Introduce potential adoptees to household pets on neutral ground. Also, Daffron said that all of her dogs are spayed or neutered, which makes a tremendous difference in how they get along.

* Take your new dog to the vet as soon as possible after adoption. Even though shelters do their utmost to keep everything clean, Daffron said, there is still the possibility of disease.

For more information about developing a great relationship with your adopted dog or puppy, purchase "The Happy Hound" through most bookstores, or go to www.happyhoundbook.com.