While talking about all the maintenance doesn't seem like a therapy subject, believe you me, many women are overwhelmed by what it takes to keep the societal norm of looking young.

There's a reason women in their 40s, 50s and 60s don't look the way they used to.

And it's not exercise.

It's hair dye. It actually stops the clock, at least where hair is concerned.

I began coloring my hair to get blond highlights. It has practically become a career. And of course, wildly expensive. But from the first time, I was hooked.

And then there are manicures and pedicures.

When did this happen? It used to be you ran a nail file over your nails and you were good to go.

Then there is exercise.

I would like to be in shape, really I would. But when I try, something goes bad. I hurt my back doing sit-ups, I got tennis elbow from lifting too many weights for far too long.

Skin is another issue. I have creams for my face and body. I spend an inordinate amount of time slathering myself.

And don't even get me started on waxing, especially bikini waxes.

My point is, what in society has gotten women (myself included) caught up in achieving youth?

Here's an example.

I had a formal dinner to attend. For two days I plotted and schemed about what I would wear, how I would do my hair, how my makeup would look. I spent all day getting ready.

My date put on his tux, popped a Tic-Tac, and he was ready to go.

Somehow, I think it has to do with worrying that others will think you're not quite up to par anymore.

I talk to women in sessions who are in their 30s (!!) and considering a face lift. This sort of obsessive neurosis can drive women into anxiety and depression.

Just look at television or magazines and look at the competition out there. It's brutal.

Now in my Pollyanna-istic way, I will say that happiness and self satisfaction come from within. And this is true.

But start slowly. You have a whole culture to battle about the importance of outward appearance.

Show them what's really important.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer. Christine Priesol is a licensed clinical social worker. She maintains a private practice in Munster. She can be reached at cpriesol@aol.com. Due to volume, she is unable to answer each letter individually.