PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING

MERRILLVILLE | Cupid is booked for the weekend.

So to headline its Valentine's Day-themed "Heartbreak Hotel" card tonight at Impact Christian Church in Merrillville, Fire Pro Wrestling signed the Honky Tonk Man.

Just as well.

When it comes to forming "mega matches" and subsequent soap opera-like love triangles, the Honky Tonk Man was the WWF's version of eHarmony.com.

"I know a couple of chords," the Honky Tonk Man said of his acoustic guitar, which he often uses as a percussion instrument.

While he was playing a tune on Randy "Macho Man" Savage's head during an Intercontinental Championship bout in 1987 -- Honky Tonk employed the "Heart Foundation" tag team for his backup band -- Savage's valet and real-life wife, Miss Elizabeth, escaped to the locker room to fetch Hulk Hogan for a rescue attempt.

That resulted in former rivals Savage and Hogan uniting as the "Mega Powers" -- which later dissolved thanks in part to Miss Elizabeth. Meanwhile, the Honky Tonk Man went on to become the "Greatest Intercontinental Champion of All Time" in terms of title-reign longevity.

"Fifteen months," the Honky Tonk Man said. "It was the turning point of my career ... where all the work beforehand finally paid off.

"Today, champions change from week to week. The reason I held that title for so long was because I sold tickets. With all these guaranteed contracts wrestlers get today, there's not enough urgency to keep the fans entertained."

The Honky Tonk Man looks to entertain the crowd tonight while combining forces with the Kent Boys of Hebron in a six-man tag match against FPW heavyweight champion Cade Lee, "Hard Target" champion Dave Allen and "The Regulator" Tristan Haze.

Even at 55 years old, the Honky Tonk Man keeps himself busy year-round amid the independent-wrestling circuit. He recently returned from a European tour.

"I've seen enough of the world to know where I don't want to live," the Honky Tonk Man said from his Phoenix home. "By the way, how's the weather up there? It's 74 degrees here."